


Loyalty and Love

by Vexie



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Extended Scene, F/M, Family, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, TW: images and talk of burning people, spoilers for ep 71
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-23
Updated: 2019-07-23
Packaged: 2020-07-12 06:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19941664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vexie/pseuds/Vexie
Summary: A deeper dive of Caleb and Nott's conversation at the beach, from Caleb's point of view.She’s going to tell him she’s decided to stay with her family. Not that Caleb blames her. How can he? Why would she choose to stay with Caleb when she has someone as wonderful and pure and loving as him opening his arms for her? And a son. A child who loves her and needs her. Caleb doesn’t want to have this conversation, but he can’t pretend he didn’t expect it. It’s time for her to go home.





	Loyalty and Love

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted and edited from Tumblr; previously titled "Fire Proven". 
> 
> Lines paraphrased from the episode because boy, they were doing some speaking from the heart and BOY did some of it not...make...sense. So there's some slight editing for clarity and narrative purpose.

Caleb watches the Brenatto family walk hand-in-hand-in-hand down toward the beach. The small boy who had seemed so frightened and unresponsive in Felderwind is now bouncing happily between his parents, pulling their arms and talking excitedly about the tricks he’s going to teach Nugget. Luc is a completely different child than the one they met unsuspectingly in that ruined town. Then, he was a child of war. An orphan, robbed of both of his parents, his home, his sense of safety. In his place now is a child who has been reunited with his family, who feels safe in this tropical haven. Memories of the “scary woman” from Soltryce and the day his father was taken away are barely recalled under the bright Menagerie Coast sun. Further still are the days wondering what had happened to his mother. He is too young to wonder what truly happened to her, why she disappeared, or how she’s returned to him. Those questions may come later, as he looks back on what he can remember of this, but for now, all is well. 

It’s bittersweet. It bothers the old wound where he is the child from the ruined home. He is the boy who will never hug his mother and father again. This was a life he’d had, his parents doting on him the best they could and encouraging his interests. It had been taken from Luc, and rightly returned. Seeing the relief and joy and love wash over the small boy’s face when he saw both of his parents standing before him took Caleb’s breath away for just a moment. This was a life he was forever barred from. Caleb was the one who destroyed this life, and it will never be returned to him. But he locked the grief and longing back where they sit like a cold lead box in his chest. Caleb is used to pushing these thoughts aside. No, it’s another ache giving him pause as he watches this reunited family. This ache is new. 

Nott- _Veth_ has everything she has been looking for. Caleb has not missed the warm looks she exchanges with her husband. The way the two of them move together when they are at the Xhorhaus. Their conversations are fast and low. Though they speak common, they almost have their own language of references and inside jokes that cause both of them to laugh while the rest of the room is lost. They both lift each other up; Veth talks about her wonderful, clever chemist of a husband and anyone with eyes can see the pride and admiration Yeza has for his wife. What they have is special. And Caleb could not miss her expression when Luc came running into her arms. Veth’s whole world was returned to her today, as she stood embracing her husband and her child in the warm morning light. For once, she is truly happy and whole and not…Nott.

As if summoned by his thoughts, Nott (to him, she will always be Nott…a little) slides away from her husband and son to stand by Caleb. She looks at them nervously, then up at Caleb. Though her halfling face is still a little unfamiliar, the expression she wears is very familiar to him—an uncertainty and nervousness he’s seen on Nott’s goblin face a million times.

“Can I…talk to you?” she asks, tilting her head to indicate that they should step away.

“Of course,” Caleb says, giving her a small, encouraging smile to mask the way his heart stops for a moment.

_Here it comes_ , he thinks. _Time to say goodbye_.

She’s going to tell him she’s decided to stay with her family. Caleb has been dreading this moment since he saw Yeza hold her close after he saw her true form in the prison cell. He knew it was the beginning of the end. Not that Caleb blames her. How can he? Why would she choose to stay with Caleb when she has someone as wonderful and pure and loving as him opening his arms for her? And a _son_. A child who loves her and needs her. Caleb doesn’t want to have this conversation, but he can’t pretend he didn’t expect it. Nor can he justify asking her to stay, taking a mother away from her son. It’s time for her to go home. Nott takes a deep breath.

“This is…this is great, isn’t it?” she says hesitantly. Caleb follows her gaze down to the shore where her son plays under the watchful eye of her husband. Her family.

_She’s going to dance around the topic_ , Caleb realizes, glancing down at her troubled face. Maybe a part of her wants to stay. Caleb could probably convince her to continue journeying with them. Perhaps he could convince her that the best way to keep her family safe is to help him end the war. To stay with him.

_Let her go_ , _you selfish bastard_ , Caleb instructs himself sternly.

“Why would you ever come back with us?” he asks, gesturing toward her family. The words come out quick, like pulling off a bandage. But it’s true—why would she ever stay with them, with _him?_

Nott’s eyes fill with tears as she laughs.

“I don’t know!” she cries, her voice full of the relief that he brought it up for her. “I have no idea…”

She stops, looking down. Patches of green start to spread across her tanned halfling skin, the soft halfling hands lengthening to the deft goblin claws. Nott’s eyes, flashing to golden, widen in horror. She quickly recasts the spell, reversing the spread of green and restoring her halfling guise. She looks quickly toward the shore. Luc, splashing water at Nugget who tries to bite it, doesn’t seem to have noticed.

“Excpet…I only have four hours of this before I…before I turn back into a goblin,” Nott’s voice falters and she looks down.

“Does he know everything? Your son, I mean?” Caleb asks gently.

“That I’m a goblin? No,” Nott shivers, looking horrified at the thought.

“But your husband accepts you,” Caleb presses. _It’s still you, right?_ Yeza had said, stating that Veth being Veth was all that mattered to him. Caleb had watched him closely that first night, ready at any moment to step in and protect her as he’s done so many times since they began traveling together. He would not have stood for any slightest prejudice against Nott. But though he was exhausted and overwhelmed, Yeza had never looked at Nott with anything other than awe and pure adoration. He’d shown an open, unafraid love that made Caleb’s chest ache.

“He hasn’t thrown rocks at me, anyway,” Nott says, crossing her arms over her chest. “But there’s a distance there.”

Caleb frowns. If anything, Nott had been the one keeping her distance. Yeza was always right there next to her, smiling at her, touching her. When they sat at dinner, his arm brushed hers constantly. If they stood in a room, his fingers hovered right next to hers, or touching her elbow. When Caleb had peered into their room early that first morning, Yeza was curled next to Nott on the floor, his arm tightly around her. It’s always Nott who pulls away first, Nott who looks shyly at the floor, Nott who doesn’t take her husband’s hand.

“There was no distance when you were hugging,” he says carefully, not letting Nott know how closely he’s been watching her.

“Hugging, sure. But we haven’t…y’know,” she holds out both hands, then refolds them awkwardly. Her spell doesn’t let her blush, but Caleb imagines the dark green flush across her goblin face. His ears also heat up a bit, catching her embarrassment secondhand.

“Oh,” he says, not knowing what else to say. He raises his eyebrows. “So just because of that, you’re going to come back with us?”

Nott shakes her head, sighing.

“No, listen.” She puts both hands up into her hair in a familiar, frustrated gesture. “I don’t _know_ if I can leave them. I haven’t seen…I haven’t been together with them in years. This is all I wanted. And they’re happy and we’re safe. It’s…it’s everything I wanted. But it’s not…it’s not _real_ …right?”

Her voice is small. Caleb is reminded of their first days together—it seems so long ago now. _Now that we’re out of that prison, you want me to leave, don’t you? It’s okay, I understand if you do._ He takes a breath, but the words are tumbling out now.

“I mean, I’m lying to them. I don’t even look like this…I’m a goblin…”

_And what of it?_ Caleb thinks fiercely. Yeza loved her just the same. Together, they could help Luc be unafraid, too.

“Do you think,” Caleb interjects, keeping his voice steady, “that you could find the courage to show them? Because you _are real_.”

He doesn’t say that to him, Nott the Goblin feels more real than Veth the Halfling…than Veth the stranger. That to him and the Nein, Nott the Goblin is who they grew to love so dearly, and that her family will love her, too.

“Maybe…” Nott says, wiping a hand across her eyes, catching the tears that have leaked out.

“Would you care for him? Would you be a mother to him?” Caleb asks, though again, he already knows the answer. Her actions toward her son in Felderwind and here, today showed him just how much she loves her boy. She would give anything to keep him safe. She would give him the moon if she could, just so he knew a fraction of how much she loved him and has missed him.

Bittersweet.

“Of course I would,” Nott says, looking up at him as if she’s stunned he would even dare to question. She meets Caleb’s eyes as her face twists, full of bitterness and anger.

“I’d care for him for twenty-five years, _and then I’ll be dead_ ,” she continues, her voice hardening.

Caleb stops, the comforting words he was about to say frozen on his lips. Dead? His mind catches up with him. Of course. _Dummkopf. Foolish_. Goblins have such a short life span, especially compared to halflings, who outlive humans. He had been so focused on whether her family would accept her as he’s accepted her, and making sure she knew how love she was, he hadn’t even considered the biological implications. She has not been made to _look_ like a goblin. She has been somehow wholly changed into a new creature. Everything about her is a goblin. Logically, if she continues as a goblin, she will barely live to see her son reach full maturity as a halfling. Everything Caleb had been ready to say is gone. He stares at her. 

“And maybe I could convince him to accept me. But something’s still not right. This isn’t _my_ body. People liking you is nice. And…and people accepting you is nice. But if…if you don’t feel right in your own skin then…then you can’t be a good mother or a good wife, or a good anything, really,” Nott continues, the hard, angry edges leaving her voice with an aching helplessness.

Caleb looks down. He notices for the first time how her round halfling feet don’t match the long, crooked-toed footprints in the sand leading to where they stand. _It’s not real_. To live as something you’re not every day isn’t easy. And to do so with no way of escape, even with everything you want so close at hand must be unbearable. To know that you can’t even pretend to live your life as you would have, knowing your husband will still be a relatively young man when you wither and die, knowing you will never meet your grandchildren…even if they love her as a goblin, it’s not right. It’s not fair. He’d never even considered it.

“Well…” he begins hesitantly. He’s not ready to talk about this yet. He’s been studying, but he doesn’t have an answer. Caleb never likes to speculate unless he can be sure he has the right answer. But for Nott… “What if we found a way…”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” Nott says, looking up at him. Her face is a mixture of hope and shame. “I’ve been reluctant to talk to you before, because you’ve been on your own path and I don’t want to distract you from it. But I’ve been…well, not lying, but _concealing_ —when we first met we were, well, we were there to keep each other alive and protect each other of course, but we had our other motives, too.”

Caleb waits out the storm of her confession, already knowing what she’ll say. He was trained to read between the lines, to find out what people want. From the moment Veth’s story had come out, he had connected the dots—all those times Nott had proclaimed that she would help him become powerful, that she wanted to see him get strong. Her desire is clear. She’s been hoping he can transform her. From the moment he conjured Frumpkin to comfort her in that jail cell, Nott realized he could potentially help her. He remembers the day they found her doll’s face mask.

_Is it possible to make this my face for real?_

_Do you not want to be Nott anymore?_

_Every single day. But every day, I’m still Nott._

He’s not angry, not even a little. This is no betrayal. Everyone has a motive. Everyone wants something. And this is a worthy cause. The same night she had revealed what had been done to her, he had begun poring over his notes and everything he had read about transmutation, trying to find a way to help her. Ever since that night, Caleb has been focusing on learning to transform one thing into another, changing his own form into an eagle or a gorilla to lay the groundwork for more permanent transformations. He has a long way to go, but he’s made a start. He’d wondered if she’d figure it out when he started practicing changing his own body, but it doesn’t appear that she has. 

“For me, part of the reason I instantly wanted to hang out with you is because you had these amazing magical abilities and you know—I care for you deeply now and I wouldn’t leave your side for anything and I mean…I love you,” Nott continues. “But back then, and even now I hope you’ll become strong enough to one day do me a great service. And I haven’t been explicit with you about that, but I’ve seen you do amazing things and change things into other things.”

_Nott, I would do anything for you_ , Caleb almost interrupts, his chest warming when she say she loves him, like it always does. He almost tells her how her love has saved his life countless times and how he will always be in her debt because of it. How much he’s missed her as she’s distanced herself from him in preparation to leave. But he holds his tongue as her expression changes. Where she had looked sad and nervous, she looks _afraid_ and desperate. Whatever she’s about to say, this is what has been holding her back the most. This is why she hasn’t spoken of this before. He waits.

“And…and I’ve also seen you be ruthless when you need to be,” Nott says, her voice growing serious. “You know how I became this way. They drowned me in water and turned me into another body. But I’ve been…praying that one day, when you learn the spell or find the book or whatever it is, that you’ll be strong enough to kill me with fire and change my body like they did.”

_To kill me with fire._

Time comes to a stop.

Caleb can’t hear the ocean, or Luc’s delighted giggles, or Nugget’s barks. He can’t hear the buzz of his friends talking and laughing. He can’t hear the seagulls or the wind.

It’s almost silent, except for the distant sound of flames and voices screaming his old name. Caleb looks past Nott to see a familiar cottage. He sees flames engulfing the house. A blackened, disfigured hand presses to the window, then disappears into the flames. He sees Nott’s tiny, burned goblin body as Beau rushes her out of the lava bed. He sees her broken form as he holds her gently in his arms, fear coursing through his bloodstream as he whispers countless meaningless promises to her. Many of them involved never letting her burn again.

Could he do it? Could he burn her? Kill her with fire, as she’s asked? He imagines her standing before him. He smells the sulfur as he pulls it from his pouch. He feels the delicious heat of the fire forming in the deep well of magic in his chest and running through his arms, pouring from his fingertips to engulf her. He imagines her screams—would she scream his name or call for her husband? Would she scream her own son’s name, like Caleb’s mother had? (Was she screaming for help or accusing him? He’s never been able to decide.) Or would she stare at him with the same determination she has now, embracing the flames that eat her goblin body in the hopes that he could restore her to her halfling form.

Caleb plays the vision out to the end, testing his mind. Could he maintain the spell? Could he maintain focus until the very end?

The sound of her body giving out, that tiny _thump_ against the ground amid the crackling flames almost brings him to his knees. _It’s not real._ It’s just his mind. It’s a vision he’s seen many times before in his nightmares, especially since the mind control incident. But this time, it’s no nightmare. It’s a request. It’s something asked of him.

Could he do it?

_Nott, I would do anything for you, but please do not ask me to do this_ , he thinks desperately, his heart thundering in his ears, his stomach twisting.

Nott is looking up at him, fear replaced with a strong hope, the desperation turned to determination.

“I think you could do it. You’re very powerful,” she says, and he knows she believes it.

He wants to laugh, though there would be nothing humorous about it. If power alone were the only thing, perhaps it would be possible. But to ask this thing of him…knowing what he’s done. To ask him to destroy her—his only family—the same way he destroyed his first one. _Anything but this._

“Well,” he says, forcing the word out, forcing himself to speak to her. “The fact of the matter is, I owe you everything. I would not be here. I would be dead in a field outside Alfield without you. And many times over.”

_But do not ask me to do this._ _Please_.

“Ja. Anything is possible,” Caleb says instead, praying the nonspecific acquiescence suffices.

Nott grabs his hand.

“But is it though? I kind of need to know. I want to tell my child something and I don’t want to lie. If I tell him I will be back, I want to know that it is truly possible. Is that something you can do for me?” Nott demands, goblin fingertips digging into his palm through the disguise.

Caleb doesn’t have an answer. Not wholly. Not like she’s looking for. He’s been looking, been starting to study, but to truly change her is outside of his reach. And the thing she is asking…if he can find a way around it, he will.

“Not now,” he says softly. “But I am on the edges of such things.”

Nott’s grip loosens a fraction. She stares at him hard. He can almost see her gold cat-eyes through the illusion.

“You could…kill me?” she asks. She knows him too well, can hear him skirting around her real question. 

A shiver of horror works its way through Caleb’s spine. He wonders if she feels it. _No_ , he thinks. Then another voice, the ever-present voice that taunts him whispers _yes_. It would not be the first time he killed someone he loved dearly. Why not return to his true nature? This is what he does, is it not? He could kill any one of them. It would be easy. Fire has always come so easily to him. He could burn all of them if he wanted to. He almost did, once. He pictures the wall off fire cutting him off from his friends. If the need arose, he could set the Xhorhaus on fire as they slept, returning full circle.

Caleb swallows hard. He cannot answer.

“And bring me back,” Nott continues slowly, not breaking eye contact.

_Not like this. Not what you are asking._ Caleb’s mind is growing loud.

“You want to be you,” Caleb grabs her hand back, kneeling down before her.

“Yes,” Nott says. The hardness goes out of her eyes then. All of the fear and loneliness and exhaustion and hate she feels is wrapped in that little word. She looks sad and tired.

“We can find a way to make you _you_ ,” Caleb says firmly. A way where he doesn’t have to burn her. Already, he’s running calculations and thinking to every book he’s ever read. “But nothing comes without risk or hard work, and I can’t do it tomorrow. I need _books_.”

He emphasizes the last word, forcing a small smile onto his face. How many times have they entered a town and he immediately begins the search for a bookshop? By now, the Nein all keep eyes out for him without his even needing to ask. Nott brings him books unbidden. It was one of their earliest agreements. When she steals, she is to keep an eye out for books that look arcane in nature. When they have coin, some of it will go to books. _Books for Caleb and booze for me!_ Nott had been happy with this setup.

Caleb’s small joke works. Nott returns his smile with a nervous laugh. It’s small, but it’s enough. The flames quiet down in Caleb’s mind. He can breathe just a little bit better now.

“But if you’re asking me if I will _help_ you…of _course_ I will help you,” Caleb says, taking her other hand. _Of course._ Because he loves her. He can’t say it. It isn’t allowed, but it’s true. He would do anything in his power to make her happy and safe. He tries to put all of that feeling into his words. He will be useful to her—he will do whatever she needs him to do. Can she see that in his eyes as he stares into hers? Can she feel it through her hands, clasped in his?

“This is…a spell you know? Or have heard about or read about? You know it’s possible?” Nott asks.

Caleb sighs. It’s not an easy answer. What she speaks of sounds like necromanctic magic. Nothing he has ever touched. He has begun to study transformation, but nothing so far is as full of a transformation as she is seeking. He can change forms or cause others to change forms, but it is always temporary. To truly change someone…he has not yet discovered a way. But with hard work and study, anything is possible. That much, he knows for a fact. There is always some path. If transmutation does not have the answers he seeks, perhaps he can find something in dunamancy. He thinks of Waccoh’s library and sets himself with grim determination. He will study in that library, if he has to kill the Laughing Hand himself to prove his worthiness.

He looks down into Nott’s waiting face and steels himself. And if he cannot find what he needs, he will make it himself. He will find a way to restore her to her true form. To make her happy and whole again. He owes her that much and more. He finds the lines of his familiar goblin companion in the face of her halfling self. They’re not as dissimilar as she thinks—or perhaps it is just how familiar she has become to him. He would recognize her expressions even if she were a slime.

Caleb squeezes her hands.

“I do not want to burn you,” he says softly, his voice cracking around the words. Her face starts to fall.

“But if we follow the road long enough, I think I can return you,” he promises. _I will return you_ , he thinks. There is no question. He will see it done.

“I’m sure you can do anything,” Nott says, a bit of her old insistent adoration returning. She glances toward her family. “But…how long do you think that road is? Is it…hypothetical or real?”

Caleb shakes his head. Hypothetical and real--The two are not so dissimilar. Especially when it comes to magic. But he cannot lie to her or speak philosophically. Not now. Not about this.

“Veth, I do not know,” he says. Nott’s face falls again, some of the hope draining from her. Caleb gives her hands another squeeze “I do not know if we will be alive two weeks from now. This is a very personal choice. Maybe you would prefer to have twenty years with your boy, or you can struggle into the unknown for a while and see what it gets you. Maybe you’d die sooner. I don’t know. All I can give you is my, um…” He falters.

_My love._ Caleb’s mind insists fiercely. The word sticks in his chest. He tries to force it out but it won’t go.

“My loyalty,” he finishes, wincing. It will do, for now. “And I have great loyalty for you.”

_I will follow you anywhere. I will risk myself for you. I will help you with anything I can. I love you._ He doesn’t say these things. How can he? The words are pinned to his chest by the pieces of his broken, damaged soul. There is not enough left of him to give like that. He should never even feel these things, but he does. His loyalty, though, that he can give. That, he was trained to give. Those words were practiced, were expected.

Bren thought he meant them. Loyalty to his nation, to his emperor, to his order, to his master. He had felt the pride and weight sitting comfortably in his chest like a glowing ember. His loyalty encouraged and justified his every move. His loyalty was eventually his own destruction.

This is not like that.

This is not loyalty based on lies. This is not loyalty practiced and required of him—he had been more than happy to give it of course, but it had been asked of him. Required of him. Burned into his skin and mind.

Caleb’s loyalty to Nott comes unasked for. It does not come with practiced oaths or recited promises. It does not require proof or action. Nott chose Caleb, even when she didn’t have to. Even after he told her she could walk away. Even when she should have walked away from him. She stayed. So he stays. She had every right to leave him for dead in that field. She had every right to let him walk away from the group and leave her behind. She had every right to walk away from him when she learned what he was and what he’s done. But she never did. She’s never faltered. And he will choose her, always.

His loyalty was misplaced before. Never again. This time, it is well cared for. He will stand by Nott until the very end. She has asked nothing of him until now, and he will give her all he can. He tries to feed this information through his lame, meager words, through the touch of his hand.

“All right,” Nott says. She’s looking back toward Yeza and Luc.

Caleb follows her gaze. His heart sinks. Why would she ever choose to risk losing this life instead of spending every precious moment she can with her wonderful family? If Caleb were in her shoes, it would not even be a question. If he could have one surefire day with his family again, he would choose that over every risk.

Losing his family was not worth the promised prize.

Losing Nott would be almost as bad, he realizes. With an almost panicked leap, his heart reaches toward her.

“And,” he hears himself say softly, voice breaking, before he can stop himself. “I would hate to see you go.”

_Stupid_ , he chides himself. He stands, giving himself time to get himself back under control. 

“But that is being selfish,” he adds, almost as an apology. 

Nott turns back to him, her eyes not leaving her family until the last moment.

“Well…thank you for your honesty. I’ll think about it,” she says.

“I promise I’ll do all I can for you. If you want me to,” Caleb says, voice just above a whisper.

“Thank you,” Nott says. She moves as if she’s going to hug him, the way she used to, but she stops herself. “Thank you,” she says again. She pauses, then turns and walks back toward the water.

Caleb watches her go, his heart sitting in the pit of his stomach like lead.

_I want you to kill me with fire and bring me back_.

_I have everything I want…I don’t know if I can leave them._

Caleb watches Nott— _Veth_ cheer her son on as he smashes a crab with the grappling hook, laughing as Yeza drops his head into his hands. Yeza soon relents, smiling, taking her hand. Caleb admires their completeness with a breaking heart. 

_You have my loyalty. You have my love_.

Caleb begins preparing for the goodbye that will come in the morning now. How could she choose to stay with him when she has _this_? It won’t stop him from finding a way to help her. He will come back for her. He will help her, just as he’s promised. She doesn’t need to stay with him for that. She’s done enough. He will carry the rest.

Caleb sits quietly as his friends make plans back in Roshana. Nott listens to them, her face nervous, as she coaxes her boy into eating his vegetables.

_Here it comes_ , he thinks. She’ll have to tell them she’s not coming with them. As if they don’t already know. Anyone with eyes should be able to see that she’s staying. He wonders how the Nein will take it, so soon after losing Yasha. It will be hard for them, Caleb thinks. But he will stand between her and them if they try to challenge her decision. She deserves this home, this family.

Nott stands. Caleb closes his eyes, as if waiting for a blow. The moments tick by in relative silence. Carefully, he opens his eyes. Nott and Yeza are standing a ways away. Her head is hanging. A small, sad smile plays across Yeza’s face as he rubs her shoulder comfortingly. Through the sadness shines the ever-present pride as he speaks to her. With a jolt, Caleb realizes she’s coming with them. She’s leaving her family and staying with him. A weight he was barely aware of lifts from his chest.

Yeza embraces his wife, stroking her hair. Caleb looks at them, then at their son, who is watching them carefully as he slips seaweed salad to Nugget under the table.

The feeling of resolve isn’t entirely new, but it’s been burning brighter lately. Now it burns like a roaring flame in his chest, filling his veins with a strength and energy that surprises him.

_I promise,_ he thinks. _You will return to this family, Nott the Brave. I will help you change yourself. I will protect you and bring you home. I will give you back to those who have let us keep you a little longer, whole and as yourself. I promise. Because I am loyal to you._

_Because I love you._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! 
> 
> This episode really got me back on my Nott and Caleb kick, so that's pretty cool, I would say. I just...have a lot of feelings. 
> 
> It's almost Thursday, guys! <3


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